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Intuition Speaks Through the Brush

3/20/2016

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     Last weekend I attended a business school reunion. There are many wonderful reason why I love process painting but when I talk to my classmates I like to highlight the way that process painting enhances intuition. I define intuition as things we know but we can't explain in words how we know it. In his book, Blink, Malcolm Gladwell defines it as "thinking without thinking" and gives examples of experts who have amazing skills but can't seem to put into words how they do it. Gladwell says that it takes 10,000 hours to develop this level of expertise.

     All humans have the capacity to do this kind of intuitive knowing. We may not have specialized training of the experts, but we do have many tens of thousands of hours of experience living our own life. So we all have intuitive knowledge that we bring to every day living. The problem is that many of us have been trained to discount what we can't explain or describe . As a result, we learned to ignore our intuition instead of listening to it. Process painting is a remedy for that.

     In process painting, we practice listening to our intuition and doing whatever it says, even if does't make sense. After all, what harm can it do if a tree trunk purple instead of brown? In the safety of the painting studio, we ask our logical brain to shut up and go along for the ride. Little by little we get better at recognizing those little tugs of intuition. The voice that says, "Put a green squiggle here" or "Paint a big black X there." It doesn't matter what the painting looks like so we might as well listen to the intuition and see where it leads. And time after time, it leads  to interesting places. It doesn't always turn out as expected but, more often than not, it is worth the journey.

     If you are like me, after a while, you start to notice that same tug of intuition in other parts of your life. Now that you can hear your intution, you can tap into your own wisdom in a new way. You may not want to follow it as uncritically as you do in painting but, thanks to process painting, your logical brain is now aware of what your intuition is telling you. ​
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This painting was an interesting exercise in turning off my logical mind and letting my intuition take charge. It started with the idea of peacock, which turned into the turkey. Next I felt the urge to paint flowers, they look like poppies to me. Then a dog showed up.  Chris Zydel, my teacher, says, "Trust the brush!" I trusted the brush to paint me a dog and I love how he is standing, even though I could have never done that on purpose. Finally, the path appeared, although neither animal seems to be going anywhere.
   Step by step the painting appeared. There was no plan. I still don't know what it means. But the painting got painted and I feel a deep connection to what showed up. A reminder that the point of process painting is not to explain the painting but to stay in touch with the experience of making it. Hooray for intuition!
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Setting Intentions for the New Year

1/16/2016

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​Last year, I picked "JOY" as my word for 2015. (You can read about it here and here.) Now it is January again I have been looking for the right word for 2016. The year I am feeling the dark and cold of winter. The words that come to mind are things like "comfort", "cocooning" and "cocoa". I'm a little embarrassed by these words. As a facilitator who helps people be big and break the rules, I should pick a word that reflects big aspirations for 2016. But the truth is that the big, sparkly, fertile words aren't resonating. 

As I struggled to find the perfect word, I gradually recognized that my inner critic had taken over the process. (The word "should" is usually clue that the critic is in charge.) If this word search was a painting, I would know what to do. Recognize and honor all the desires of this moment. Paint the part that wants to be small and safe and then paint the part that wants to be big and bold and risky. They are all me.

And then I found my answer, not in a word but in an image. The image of the flame. Or rather a kaleidoscope of images, ranging from the small flame of a candle, the comforting flame of a camp fire and the ranging fire of a supernova.

Have you found your inspiration for the new year? If not, maybe it will make itself known in your next painting. 

Happy 2016!
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Gratitude

1/16/2016

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​Gratitude 
I have been leading process painting workshops since 2012. Almost one hundred different people have painted with me. (97 to be exact!) Some came just once, but many of you have returned again and again.

I appreciate all of you and the opportunity to be part of your painting process. I love watching when you take me up on the invitation to be big, be messy, have fun and break the rules. Watching those magical moments is a pleasure that never gets old. Thank you. 

It is also a moving experience to be with someone when they are painting deep and complicated feelings. It is not easy, especially in a room full of other painters. If this is you, I am grateful for your trust and your willingness to be true to yourself.

And for those of you who have not yet attended a process painting workshop, thank you for your interest. It is nice to know that there are people that I have not even met who are curious about what I am doing and interested enough to read this far into the newsletter.

Happy Thanksgiving! I look forward to painting with all of you in 2016.
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Painting How It Feels, Not How It Looks

10/31/2015

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Every time I go to Ghost Ranch, I am drawn to paint the view outside the studio. Whenever I try, I run into the limits of my ability - I don't have the skill to make it look the way I want.  Last week, after finishing a very intense painting, I was drawn to try again. Instead of trying to paint the view, I just tried to paint how I felt in the moment looking at the view. The result doesn't look much like the hills but it was still most satisfying of all my efforts to paint the high desert.
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Painting in Community

10/31/2015

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 Last month I went to a week-long painting retreat at the Ghost Ranch in Abiquu, New Mexico with Chris Zydel. One thing I noticed at the retreat was how different it was to do process painting surrounding by other painters, compared to painting at home. 

     At a painting retreat, I am there to paint. I know perfectly well that boredom means that I've touch with my inner experience. Still, when I get bored at home, I usually wander off to get a snack or check my email. At a retreat, there is nowhere else to go. If I stay with the painting and confront the resistance, the energy comes back. The result: less snacking and more profound paintings.

     At the retreat, I have another person serve as my facilitator. I am a fully trained facitlitator. I already know all the questions. Yet, there is something in the interaction with another person that gives me inspiration, insight and energy. 

     Painting in community also changes the energy. Even though no one is talking, the room becomes charged with a intense energy that inspires me to go deeper. 

     Finally, watching others paint opens up possibilities. At my very first workshop at Ghost Ranch, I was astonished by other people's paintings. While I worked to fill a single 2' x 3' sheet of paper, other people had paintings that sprawled across as many as a dozen sheets. People were using paint in surprising ways - using their hands, throwing paint with their brushes, squeezing glitter glue right onto the paper. There were images ranging from monsters to birds to naked lovers. From watching the others, I knew that whatever I wanted to do, it would be ok. ​
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Joy and Beauty in the New Year

9/19/2015

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After living so many years of my life in synch with the school calendar, September always feels like the beginning of the new year for me. This makes me think back to my New Year's resolutions of last January.
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In January 2015, I posted on my Facebook page that my word for 2015 was going to be "JOY". Nice idea but easier said that than done. Now, in September, I recognize that I am in a situation that is familiar to me from the painting studio. A painter starts out with an intention: I am going to paint "Joy". 
For a while it works. Flowers, rainbows, balloons - the painting is light and free. But after a while the painter runs out of energy. When I check in, the conversation goes like this:
Me: How is it going?
Painter: I'm making a happy painting.
Me: How are you feeling as you paint?
P: I'm feeling sad and heavy.
Me: Could you let some of that show up in your painting?
P: But I want it to be happy! I don't want to ruin it!
Me: You did paint happy. But this is process painting. Could you let your current feeling show up in the painting too?Usually the painter agrees. New, darker images appear but instead of ruining the painting, it becomes richer, more complex, and more satisfying.
I love the way that lessons learned in the painting studio reverberate throughout my life.  As I struggle to find space for more joy in my life, I know from my painting experience that admitting to the dark parts doesn't undermine the happy stuff - it makes the painting better. Both sides of the struggle - the wanting joy and the dark feelings that block it out - deserve to be in the painting and make it beautiful.
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So this is what I am learning from process painting this month:
My life may not always be happy but it is beautiful.
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Experiencing a Painting Intensive

9/19/2015

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Wonder what it is like to spend an entire weekend painting? At the Fall 2015 Intensive, participants made this painting to capture their experience.
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As you can see, it was complex experience with images of growth, movement and calm. The words that came up the most were "Joy" (three times) and "Love" (twice). It is a safe space ("Trust" and "Acceptance"). It can also be a quiet, meditative activity, as you connect to your own experience and translate it, without words, into color, line and shape with painters describing it as "Peaceful", "Mindfulness", "Silence", "Inward" and "Grounded"

With more time for the workshop, paintings have time to unfold - to move beyond the first impulse into something more complex, more interesting, and more surprising. There is also more time for the underlying skills of process painting - giving yourself permission,over-riding the critical impulse and allowing your creativity and intuition to blossom. Finally, there is time for fun - Be Big! Use Glitter! Make a Mess! Do What Makes You Happy!
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Finding Time for Happiness

8/9/2015

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What would you do if someone gave you three hours of completely free time and a budget of $50?

This is not a rhetorical question. Take a minute and think about your answer. Or better yet, think of three or four very different answers.

Did your answers make you smile? I hope so. One of the biggest challenges in a busy life is to find time for things that make us happy. We spend so much energy on things that are important and necessary it can hard to find time to do things that recharge our batteries. This is an invitation to find time to follow through on just one of those ideas. You may not be able to do it exactly the way you imagined. Focus on the essence of your idea and try to find a way to make it happen.

With all that said, I confess that sometimes, like the cat in the painting, I just want to stay home and sit on the couch. 
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No matter how fun the other options may be, my deepest wish at that moment is to just sit. So, I do.

If you would like to share your wishes or make a public commitment to your plans, please use the comments section below. 
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The Reflecting Canvas

8/7/2015

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    I recently had the experience of looking at 189 photographs of myself, all taken within 45 minutes. (I had a hired a photographer to do a professional photo for my website.) It was disconcerting at first. Usually when I look in the mirror, I'm just looking for information - Is my hair OK? Any food caught in my teeth? If I stop and take a hard look at myself, it can quickly turn into a surreal experience. The connection between the real me and the face in the mirror seems more like a logical fact than a true and certain reality. 
     If I want to know what I really look like, on the inside, I pick the brush and see what happens. Sometimes what comes out is a surprise. Sometimes it seems boring and predictable. But it almost always feels like "me". So, if you want to see what I look on the outside, check out my new portrait below. If you want to see what I look on the inside, check out my paintings in the gallery at ReflectingCanvas.com.
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The Unloved Child

3/17/2015

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      Sooner or later you are going to end up with something in your painting that you just don't like. Maybe a drip or a slip of the brush in the wrong place. Maybe your skill fell short of your intentions and no one else would know that brown blob was supposed to be a dog. The basic idea of process painting is that the results don't matter. What do you do when they do matter and you aren't happy about it?
      Here are a few strategies for dealing that uncomfortable situation:
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- Work with it in your painting. Try doing more of what you don't like and see what happens. Or paint your response, let the "not liking" show up in the painting too.
- Remind yourself that it really doesn't matter how it looks. After all, your subconscious (or your muse, if you prefer) wanted you paint the idea. That idea is still there, even if you don't like how it was executed.
- Try to think of as a misbehaving child - love it for being what it is, even if it wasn't what you expected.
- Notice the part of you that doesn't like it. "Not liking" is a feeling. It's OK and you don't have to do anything at all about it - just go right on not liking it.

What do you think of the painting above? It was done by my friend and fellow teacher, Linda Bolton. She titled it, "I Might be Pissed". She didn't like it and was surprised when I asked to include in the gallery for my website. I love it. If you want to comment on the painting or on this essay, please offer your thoughts in the comment section below.

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    Process painting is such a magical experience that I want to share. My invitation to you: Paint. Play. Discover.

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